Oh dear, looks like Hexxus the evil pollution demon has breached the boundaries of your pristine tropical netherregion, killed all the fairies, and coated your bits with burning crude oil! This is pretty much the opposite of the organic, chemical-free vulva you were hoping for, and really speaks to the inevitability of humanity’s destruction of the plant, but hey, at least it’s still slick and hot down there ;)
If you’re looking for an organic lube these days, you have plenty of options – each all-natural enough to keep your PH balanced while you get it on, and to turn your vulva into the titular setting from the movie FernGully. You really can’t go wrong, unless it’s the allegorical burning crude oil that spells destruction for Crysta and her friends. But, other than that, yay organics!