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How to Free Yourself of Social Anxiety by Replacing It With the Anxiety of Urgently Having to Shit
How to Exfoliate Your Feet but Not So Much You Go Sliding Across the Floor
Email Signoffs to Make You Sound Less Like a Pushover and More Like the God of the Old Testament
5 Indoor Plants So Easy to Maintain They’re Practically Daring You to Kill Them
How to Play Your Mom in Scrabble Without Calling Her a Bitch and Meaning It
QUIZ: Do You Hate Christmas in an Anti-Capitalist Way or in a Scrooge Way?
6 Gifts for Every Member of the Family Even Though You Can Afford 3 People, Tops
4 Vegan Holiday Recipes to Make Your Family Never, Ever Ask You to Cook Something Again
How to Convince the Girl You Babysit You Don’t Have a Boyfriend in the Cool Way
How to Go to the Gym Even Though Men Will Be There
How to Change Your Mind About Something Without Anyone Finding Out You Changed Your Mind About Something
How to Travel Even Though You’re Gonna Feel a Bit Sick the Whole Time
How to Cook the Moistest, Juiciest, Wettest, Dirtiest, Cum-Slut of a Turkey This Thanksgiving
How to Make Sure Anthropologists Can Tell You Were Hot From Your Skeletal Remains
How to Build Community While Still Listening to Make Sure Your Neighbors Aren’t in the Hallway Before Leaving Your Apartment
How to Explain What’s Going on With Twitter Right Now to Someone Who Does Not Want to Know
How to Sell Your Old Clothes as if You’re Ever Going to Do That
How to Drive at Night Even Though You Can’t See Shit
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