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“Unfortunately, I’m only responsible for repairing holes if they reach 2,901 kilometers deep or more.”
“Remember when Jason had diarrhea in the gym bathroom after finishing last in the mile?”
Start thinking of the floor as a “ground-level counter top.”
The gift of laughter you’re providing for them is a million times better!
“These questions are specifically designed to make you feel codependent yet emotionally distant.”
“I love you insert name, and I’ve loved you ever since we met in insert year.”