I didn’t even think I’d have to explain this, but the reason I decided to tell you, my Black coworker, about that one time my dad was really racist to the Black cashier at the grocery store is because I’m not racist. Get it?
Yes, I know I keep telling unprompted stories about my relatives being super racist and making everyone around me uncomfortable – but it’s because I’m being actively anti-racist! Didn’t you see my subtle look of disdain when I told you my mom said urban areas are “full of criminals”? I thought we were on the same page about me condemning racism by constantly talking about racist things my loved ones have done!
What do you mean you don’t want to keep hearing about all the racist shit my Uncle David said at dinner last Thursday? This is a safe space – I hate that guy’s racism! I mean, I love him because he’s my uncle and all, but his racism sucks! And I’m not afraid to say that to you – but not to him. I’d never call him out on that. He’s my uncle.
Look, I thought I made it clear by my tone of voice that I’m appalled and horrified by how racist my mom was being last week. Not appalled and horrified enough to refrain from bringing it up as a little anecdote at work, but still.
Talking about racism is good, especially if all I’m doing is listing racist things my relatives have done in my presence that I didn’t say anything about at the time, but am now for some reason frothing at the mouth to relay to you, my Black coworker.
How can you think I’m racist? I just told you how racist my dad was during my whole childhood, even though you didn’t ask!
Did you ask me to launch into a long-winded story about how violently racist my grandma is? No. Does that mean me doing so anyways is a microaggression and is creating a toxic work environment? No! Didn’t you hear the story I just told? I’m not racist – talking about the racist stuff my family does makes me roll my eyes and scoff – I could never commit a microaggression. I don’t even know what that is.
Obviously, if you ask me to stop talking about this stuff in front of you, I’ll stop! But not before making a big scene about how you’re now making me feel uncomfortable by lightly critiquing my behavior. That’s just rude.
