Melissa Lactating Like A Fuckin’ Beast

Living

How to Explain to Your Cool Friends that You Unironically Enjoy Chain Restaurants

If worst comes to worst, just bring your friends to Olive Garden.

News

Woman Who Gave Up on Dreams Has Advice for How to Pursue Yours

“Maybe it’ll work out better for you!”

Style

5 Dad Sneakers That Are Ugly But We’ve Seen Celebrities Wear Them

Celebrities wear them, so you will too!

Style

4 Sexy One-Piece Bathing Suits That Are Really Complicated So You Might As Well Put On A Two-Piece

Yas summer!!

Style

4 Lacy Black Dresses That Totally Would Have Gotten You Killed In 1692 Salem

If it was 300 years earlier you’d be fucking dead!

Living

How To Stay Calm Even Though Everyone Missed What You Just Said and It Was Really Good

Oh well – maybe it’s time to get new friends!

News

Mom Caves On Lenten Promise To Give Up Dad’s Perfect Wang

She’s just human, after all.

Style

Smart Pants That Say, ‘I Went to a Country Day School’

Thanks, Mom and Dad!

Living

How To Upgrade Your Cheap Furniture By Making Everyone Use Coasters

They’ll be tricked into thinking the stuff you own is actually worth preserving!

News

Mom Really Hopes You Wear Nylons With That Dress

“If I had been as pretty as you, I would have worn bright pink lipstick every day.”

Style

4 Sweaters That Will Make You Feel Like Sandra Bullock in ‘While You Were Sleeping’

Things are about to change for you!

Living

4 Serums That Won’t Do Much To Stop Forehead Wrinkles If You’re Constantly Skeptical

You’re too dubious to be hot, sorry.

Podcast

On The Reductress Minute: Wow! This Beautiful Woman Won’t Shut Up and Take The Compliment

We talk to a beautiful woman who won’t take a fucking compliment and play VMs from deranged Reductress fan Aubrey Plaza.

News

The Science Behind Why Smoking One Cigarette Per Day Is Honestly Probably Fine

People deserve just one and at least it isn’t meth.

Style

4 Knee Socks That Are Slutty Somehow Even Though They’re Socks

You’re a knee sock wearing slattern!

Living

How to Make a March Madness Bracket That Ends With You and Timothée Chalamet Living On a Vineyard Together

You’re manifesting your truth!

News

‘Black People Have Ridiculous Names,’ Says Guy Who Worked for Newt Gingrich

His girlfriend, Nautica-Lynn Van Hammersmith-Lockenheim, also shares his sentiments.

News

Meet Dakota! The Newest American Girl Doll Who Wants To Make Sure Addy Knows How ‘Woke’ She Is

“We wanted to create a doll that speaks to the experience of a white woman navigating her allyship inappropriately.”

Love and Sex

How to Stay Humble After You Had Sex for the First Time in Two Years

You got fuuuuucked.

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RECENT POSTS

Melissa Lactating Like A Fuckin’ Beast

How to Explain to Your Cool Friends that You Unironically Enjoy Chain Restaurants

Woman Who Gave Up on Dreams Has Advice for How to Pursue Yours

5 Dad Sneakers That Are Ugly But We’ve Seen Celebrities Wear Them

4 Sexy One-Piece Bathing Suits That Are Really Complicated So You Might As Well Put On A Two-Piece

4 Lacy Black Dresses That Totally Would Have Gotten You Killed In 1692 Salem

How To Stay Calm Even Though Everyone Missed What You Just Said and It Was Really Good

Mom Caves On Lenten Promise To Give Up Dad’s Perfect Wang

Smart Pants That Say, ‘I Went to a Country Day School’

How To Upgrade Your Cheap Furniture By Making Everyone Use Coasters

Mom Really Hopes You Wear Nylons With That Dress

4 Sweaters That Will Make You Feel Like Sandra Bullock in ‘While You Were Sleeping’

4 Serums That Won’t Do Much To Stop Forehead Wrinkles If You’re Constantly Skeptical

On The Reductress Minute: Wow! This Beautiful Woman Won’t Shut Up and Take The Compliment

The Science Behind Why Smoking One Cigarette Per Day Is Honestly Probably Fine

4 Knee Socks That Are Slutty Somehow Even Though They’re Socks

How to Make a March Madness Bracket That Ends With You and Timothée Chalamet Living On a Vineyard Together

How I’m Letting My Ex Know I’m Over it Across Every Social Platform

‘Black People Have Ridiculous Names,’ Says Guy Who Worked for Newt Gingrich

Meet Dakota! The Newest American Girl Doll Who Wants To Make Sure Addy Knows How ‘Woke’ She Is

How to Stay Humble After You Had Sex for the First Time in Two Years