Mom Really Hopes You Wear Nylons With That Dress 

After seeing a picture of you in the dress you picked for Dane’s wedding, your mom can’t help but mention her hope that you also wear nylons with that dress.


Though she admits that, “You look absolutely adorable in that dress,” she still concedes that “a pair of nude pantyhose would really pull the look together.”


When you tried to argue, Mom was quick to point out that “Kate Middleton wears nylons all the time, and she is a future queen, you know.”


Mom even went as far as to check the weather in Houston and it will be chilly next weekend, and “A good pair of nylons would keep your legs nice and warm.”


And since it will be cold, your mom is also wondering if you should bring that nice shoulder wrap she got you for your birthday last year? She isn’t sure if you know this, but “robin’s egg blue is in all the magazines right now.”


She has offered to mail you some examples.


She also wants to remind you that red nails would not go with the dress you picked. Something pink or maybe nude — to match the nylons!


When pressed for further comment, your mom wistfully trailed off as she said, “If I had been as pretty as you, I would have worn bright pink lipstick every day.”


Your mom reportedly does not understand why you’re now yelling, “I WON’T wear nylons! I won’t! I’m an adult!” over and over while you’re still in the dressing room at Nordstrom’s. She’s just stating her opinion! Everyone’s entitled to one, aren’t they? Do what you want to do — but call her when you get home, she has a few more things to discuss.