Suburban Mom Just Loves That John Legend

Sassy Woman Music

Deborah Schumer, 52, has informed her daughters that she “just loves that John Legend.”


“Have you heard that song, ‘All of You’ – or, wait, is it ‘All Of Me?’ – well anyway, have you heard it?” Deborah asked daughters Crystal and Kerri. “Oh, it’s my new favorite song. I’ve got it on my iTouch now. Sometimes I sing it to the dog!”


When Kerri asked if John Legend did “that thing with the Roots,” Deborah responded: “I don’t know what he did before, but I love what he does now! ‘Cards on the table, we both show our hearts’ – that’s poetry.” She then suggested Crystal bring some of the lyrics in to her Teach For America tenth grade English class.


While lauding praise for the creative lyrics and delicate piano work, Deborah also expressed admiration at Legend’s ability to transcend the “trash” and “violence” on the radio these days.


“Wouldn’t it be wonderful if more … you know, men like him, followed his example and sang nice songs about their wives, instead of rapping about their … ‘hoes’?”



Deborah confided in her daughters that John Legend had now joined the ranks of men she would leave their father for, alongside Patrick Dempsey, Chris Noth, and “Tom Selleck, if he shaved that mustache.”


“I wish your father would tell me I’m beautiful when I cry!” Deborah sighed. “All he ever does is try to fix what’s bothering me.”


“Not that I would want to get in between him and his wife, of course,” she added. “Have you seen her? She’s lovely.”


When Kerri and Crystal affirmed they did know what Legend’s wife, model Chrissy Teigen, looked like, their mother sighed again.


“She’s so beautiful. Is she part Chinese?”