How to Make a March Madness Bracket That Ends With You and Timothée Chalamet Living On a Vineyard Together

It’s that time of the year again: Time to fill out the official NCAA’s March Madness bracket! And because it’s just for fun, why not fill it out according to your wildest fantasies for the league? In fact, forget the league, just think what you want, which most likely involves finally meeting Oscar nominee and adorable little boy Timothée Chalamet and venturing off into wine country for a permanent romantic getaway. Here’s how to make a March Madness bracket that ends with you and Timothée Chalamet living happily on a gorgeous vineyard together.


Enter the Game

Make an ESPN username and password so that you can login to keep track of your score and standing. After you’ve logged in, you’ll see a button on the homepage that says “create entry”. If this is your first time, don’t worry. The ESPN website can be intimidating, but remember what’s waiting for you at the end: Timothée Chalamet handing you a glass of red wine, wrapping you in his arms and saying, “Are you warm enough?” Yes, basketball!


Name Your Entry

You definitely don’t need to name your entry, but why not give it a little character and charm? This whole thing is just for fun, so name it something that makes you happy! You can name it after your favorite team, your favorite player or instead just name it “Timothée Chalamet if you see this, let’s move to Napa.” Even if he doesn’t see it, you’re manifesting your truth!!


Make Your Selections

After the official tournament bracket is released, you can select what team you think will win each game. You can change your picks anytime before the tip-off time of the first game, but why would you, since you have confidence that the selections you made will guarantee you’ll end up making love to Timothée Chalamet against a field of fancy grapes as he coos, “Does that feel good, ma chérie?” It does, Timothée!



Invite Friends

Invite your friends to fill out their a bracket in a group with you, or invite them to a fancy outdoor dinner party that looks out over your acres of grapes. It doesn’t make a difference if there are a hundred people at your mansion, since Timothée will only have eyes for you. This is fun and plausible!


Fill out your bracket so that you have the highest likelihood of ending up entwined with Timothée Chalamet on your vineyard that you guys own together because you are in this for the long haul. And if this seems impossible, remember that nothing is impossible, especially when it comes to sports!