In fantastic news coming out of a house party in Brooklyn, NY, two local women were making unbearably awkward small talk when they miraculously found out that they both hate the same person.
Now these women have a bond stronger than anything known to man!
According to witnesses at the scene, party attendees Amelia Johnson and Tatiana Hayes had been fumbling through a conversation that was one of the most boring exchanges ever recorded in modern history.
“When we both got pushed into the same corner of the room, we first tried to figure out if we knew any of the same people,” Amelia told reporters. “You’d think that when we found out we had one friend in common, the conversation would’ve gotten better — but no. We were still just talking about anything we saw right in front of us. But then, by some grace of God, we discovered that we hated the same person there, and we couldn’t stop talking!”
So precious!
“Exactly,” Tatiana chimed in. “Like, at first, I was just talking about the Miller Hi-Life because I had one in my hand, and the conversation was going nowhere, but after a painful, excruciating lull, I brought up that I thought this one loud and obnoxious guy there was super annoying, and we totally hit it off! Now, Amelia is one of my best friends in the whole wide world.”
“I honestly can’t believe Tatiana was once a stranger to me,” Amelia told reporters. “After we said horrible things about that man and took turns imitating him for 40 minutes, she’s like the sister I never had!”
Aw! We love to see a friendship born from pure, unfiltered hatred!
“And when I say we exchanged ‘horrible things’ about him, I really mean that,” Tatiana continued, unprompted. “We started out making fun of the fact that he interrupts and talks over women, but then it escalated into saying that his mother probably doesn’t even love him, he’ll probably die alone, and when he dies no one will even come to his funeral.”
“Then we talked about showing up to his funeral just so we could interrupt it and give him a taste of his own medicine,” Amelia added, before the two women then did their own secret handshake.
At press time, Amelia and Tatiana had hyped each other up to the point where they ended up beating the man up in the middle of the party within an inch of his life. Then, they both left and got married! Congratulations to the happy couple!
