Some people are champs at handling their booze, others lean toward being lightweights. But 25-year-old Jenny Denton defies all labels: Every alcohol affects this amazing woman differently, but they definitely all make her cry!
“My body reacts totally differently to liquor than it does to wine or beer,” said Jenny. “Except for my eyes, which tear up no matter what. Doesn’t even matter what’s going on in my life. I guess I’ve always been kind of a maverick in that way.”
Wow, an innovative and probably depressed queen!
“Even different liquors can make me act all across the spectrum of drunk,” Jenny went on to say. “Whiskey makes me wanna dance, tequila makes me a little slutty, gin makes me an angry drunk. But they all have one thing in common: they all eventually make me sob uncontrollably.”
“Sometimes multiple times in the night,” she added.
Onlookers are frequently impressed by Jenny’s ability to cry almost instantaneously after consuming any amount of any alcoholic beverage.
“It’s really amazing,” said fellow bar patron Alyssa Michaels. “I saw her drink two gin and tonics, get a little handsy with the bartender, and cry in the bathroom. Then I saw her take a vodka shot, hug her friends, and then cry outside waiting for an Uber. How does she do it?”
“Yeah, I’m kinda blown away,” said Uma Blake, who once attended a party with Jenny. “I saw her laughing while chugging a beer and then saw her just bawling in the bathroom two minutes later.”
“She’s like a chameleon,” added Uma. “A shitfaced chameleon.”
And Jenny is proud.
“I may sometimes be a loud drunk, I may sometimes be a goofy drunk,” she said. “But no matter what I drink, I will always be a crying drunk.”
Get some help, sis!