After discovering an assortment of bagels in her office kitchen, Julia Brenner had finally broken the World Record for Longest Cheat Day in History, which started nearly seven years ago.
Brenner began her cheat day at her cousin Becca’s engagement brunch in 2007, when the bride-to-be’s sister brought out a mixed assortment of French Macaroons.
“They’re my favorite,” Brenner explained to friends. “I had to have a couple.”
Brenner has since logged 61,361 consecutive hours of justifying her poor eating habits, during which she has repeatedly claimed that she plans to get back on the bandwagon tomorrow.
According to Brenner’s most recently downloaded fitness app, Brenner will need to burn 4,500 calories a day to make up for her marathon cheat day and get back on track for Danielle’s 4th of July Pool Party at Lake Forest Beach. She will begin her diet tomorrow.
Brenner adds: “I bought an American Flag crop top for the party, so I’ll be extra motivated to be good.”