Woman Emerges from Seven Years of Me-Time

Family and friends of 45-year-old Louisville, Kentucky resident Emma Perryman experienced a happy homecoming this week when Perryman finally emerged from seven years of self-inflicted me-time.


In January 2008, still reeling from the “sheer craziness” of the holiday season, Perryman made a New Year’s resolution to make more time for herself. She entered into her newly redone home office, locked the double doors, lit a few dozen vanilla-coconut-scented tea lights, and slipped into what would turn into a seven-year hiatus from her husband, children, friends, in-laws, traffic, banks, church acquaintances, mailing letters, voicemail, and scheduling appointments.


“Every woman deserves to be a little selfish sometimes,” Perryman cooed post release. “I can’t tell you how much I needed that.”


Her husband and children, however, don’t share the same sentiment. Perryman’s daughter Jessica told reporters, “I turned eight this year, so I finally really met my mom. She’s nice, I guess.” Jessica adds, “She’s really calm.”


Perryman’s husband Jeremy initially supported his wife’s need for some time away, “I thought, heck, her getting a little ‘me-time’ means that I would get a little man cave time. I didn’t realize I was becoming the sole caretaker of our children and household for seven years, but hey, at least I didn’t have to watch Grey’s Anatomy anymore. Is that show still on?”



For the entirety of their seven years without their matriarch, Perryman’s family tied teal and blush-pink polka dotted ribbons, Perryman’s favorite color combination, around the trees in their front yard until her peaceful release.


Perryman filled her seven year self-captivity with some of her favorite relaxing activities: knitting, drawing, wrapping herself in blankets, sighing contently, sipping warm soups out of oversized coffee mugs, reading Nicholas Sparks books, watching Nicholas Sparks movies, menu planning, and creating Pinterest boards for future destinations for more “me-time.”


“I read Eat, Pray, Love when it came out in 2006 and knew that’s what I wanted, but who can just drop everything in their life and go to India for a month?” Perryman told reporters. “It was far more doable for me, a woman with children and a husband I loved, to disappear for nearly a decade inside my own house.


“I released myself from my me-time because after seven years I finally felt rested and like myself again,” she continues, with a soft smile on her face. “Also, I was real tired of making mess in a bucket.”