Woman Seconds Away From Finding Candle That Will Fix Everything

Laura Mero, a 24-year-old NYC resident, is seconds away from finding the correct candle that will fix everything.


Hang in there, Laura! We’re rooting for you!


The freelance personal assistant was recently spotted draped across her couch and aimlessly scrolling through her Google search results for the magic candle that will somehow make the world less shitty.


Observers overheard Laura muttering, “Come on…come on” for nearly an hour, scanning the internet for the one candle that’s finally gonna change it all.


The entire process to find the perfect candle that will fix everything can be a little…intense.


“I’m feeling ‘Reflection and Clarity’…or maybe ‘Aloha Kiwi Passionfruit 3’,” muttered Laura. “I just know if I nail the scent, everything else will fall into place.”


We believe that too, Laura! Keep sniffing!


Laura remains optimistic that, if she just finds the right artificial scent in an overpriced candle that will probably last a month, tops, every other fucked aspect of her life will somehow miraculously unfuck itself.


“I believe we create our own reality and smell is an important part of my, like, life, you know? So that is why I have decided to go with a $32 ‘Boy Smells Kush’ Candle,” said the defiant Laura, not even hesitating for a moment as she splurged on the candle that costs as much as a pretty good meal.


Laura says her monthly candle budget is “somewhere in the area” of $200. When asked, she couldn’t provide a figure for how much she spends on groceries.


Her sister, Bethany, confesses that she wishes her sibling sometimes made better life choices.


“I just don’t think a candle is the thing that she needs to be focusing on right now,” said Bethany. “Like, for example, I would say maybe sitting down and making a budget should be a priority.”


But Laura isn’t so easily dissuaded, which we support!


“I know SOME PEOPLE say there are more practical ways to fix the fact that I hate my apartment and all my clothes and boyfriend, but I’m sticking with the candle thing.”


She paused the quest for The Right Candle to angrily throw away prior failed experiments — long ago expired candles that have since burned down to the wick: Stillness and Purity, Ocean Mist, Focused and Fabulous, White Barn 3, Oatmeal Milk and Honey, Speakeasy Luxury, Coconut Soy Wax, Boss Lady, Espresso Yo’self, each chucked into the trash, but Laura says she doesn’t feel discouraged.


Unlike every single candle’s flame she’s ever purchased with her hard-earned money, her hope cannot be extinguished.


“Sure, none of these other candles fixed my life, but for all I know, the one that will do the trick is in the mail right now and heading my way!” said Laura. “The key is to keep doing the same thing over and over!”


Hell yeah, girl! We just know that’s the case. Smell on!