Woman Quits Job to Hydrate Full-Time

In recent news, 33-year-old Francesca Riley has decided to leave her promising advertising career behind in order to focus all her energy on hydrating full-time.


“I loved my time working for the top PR firm in the country,” says Riley. “But they say you should be drinking half a gallon of water a day to stay fully hydrated, so that has to be my priority now.”


Riley, who gave birth to a son five years ago, found handling the constant stressors of being a working mother heroically. But keeping up with her hydration became a serious issue..


“Being a mom while juggling a career was a challenge, definitely, but I found a way to balance them,” says Riley. “But being a working woman, a mother, and drinking enough water? Yeah, I don’t know any woman who can do that.”


“It just got too hard for me. I was taking breaks every hour to pee or fill up my Swell bottle. That’s no life,” adds Riley.


Despite Riley’s confidence in her decision to leave her career to start drinking more water, her friends and coworkers aren’t as sure about her choice.


“I think quitting your job that you’re extremely good at to drink water makes absolutely no sense,” says coworker Amanda Shankar. “Maybe we don’t drink enough water at the office throughout the day, but to make it your full time job is excessive.”


“Jobs are difficult to come by,” says Riley’s best friend Jessica Freed. “I understand the importance of drinking water, but like, how is she going to support herself? The rest of us have to work!”


But Riley believes her devotion to hydrating full -time has been fruitful in other ways.


“I’ve only been unemployed for a week and I can’t tell you how incredible my body feels and looks,” says Riley. “Sure, I’m making absolutely no income and am pretty lonely, but my skin looks like a seashell!”



Riley insists she’s exemplifying how women can have unconventional yet fulfilling careers.


“I haven’t had a break from work stress since my early twenties,” she says, “And I don’t plan on taking one! This is my job now, and I will let it give me anxiety just like all the other jobs I’ve ever had.”