Woman More Consistent With Her Sunscreen Than Her Antidepressants

In a story emerging from Brooklyn, NY, 26-year-old Tiara Greenfeld realized she once again forgot to take her antidepressants this morning but – as always – remembered to apply her sunscreen, which means she’s officially way more consistent with her sunscreen than her medically prescribed antidepressant medication.


Today marks the fourth time Tiara has forgotten to take her antidepressants just this week, which means her already-low daily consistency of 45% is down to a meager 43%. For comparison, she has never missed a single day of sunscreen application since she was 14.


“I just know that there are certain things my body absolutely needs to stay healthy, both mentally and physically,” she told reporters gathered at the scene. “Or maybe I should say ‘thing’ it needs – and that thing is sunscreen.”


Sources confirm Tiara was prescribed Zoloft for debilitating depression that kept her stuck in her room for months on end last year. She was also prescribed a pretty strong sunscreen by her dermatologist because she asked for “the best thing they’ve got, even if it isn’t approved by the FDA.”


“Sunscreen is the type of thing you have to apply every single day to see real results over time,” she continued while applying a second layer. “Antidepressants aren’t really like that. You can kind of take them whenever.”


According to Tiara’s psychiatrist, Dr. Krithika Singh, this is absolutely not the case. In fact, if she’s taking them “whenever,” that definitely explains the intense bouts of depression she’s been dealing with lately.


“Well, I’ve been less consistent about my antidepressants because clearly they’re not working,” Tiara countered. “For example, I took them once and I was still sad. Sunscreen would never do that to me. Missing a day of sunscreen would have real life consequences. I shudder to think what would happen if I missed even a single application.”



When reporters told Dr. Singh this, she made an incredulous face that pretty much said it all.


“The honest truth is that the quality of my skin really affects my mental health,” Tiara continued. “The quality of my mental health, however, is kind of none of my business.”


As of press time, Tiara had decided it was probably a good idea to wean off of her antidepressants, seeing as they were doing literally nothing even though she took them sometimes. Instead, she has begun micro-dosing shrooms every day, and with that kind of consistency, she’s starting to see some great results!