In a thought-provoking question out of Brooklyn, NY, 28-year-old Bella Reed enjoys spending time pondering life’s unanswerable questions, like, “How big is the universe?” and “What’s the point of being alive?” and “How much is this doctor’s appointment going to cost?”
“There’s something spiritual about seeking out the answers to unanswerable questions,” Bella told reporters. “Like trying to figure out what my purpose is on earth, or, alternatively, how much I’ll have to pay for a routine checkup with my primary care physician. There’s almost some comfort in knowing that I’ll truly never know for sure.”
Sources say that Bella sees herself as something of a philosopher.
“She’s always trying to explore the fundamental nature of existence through prolonged thought experiments,” Bella’s primary care doctor Dr. Maureen Thomas told reporters after Bella asked her directly how much the appointment might cost. “While I respect her curiosity for the more murky aspects of life, I do wish she wouldn’t direct those impossible questions toward me. How the fuck would I know?”
Bella says that while she does enjoy philosophizing, sometimes she really does want an answer.
“I mean, Plato got answers sometimes, didn’t he? Aristotle, like, set the foundations for all of modern science. It wasn’t always just aimless pondering without an end goal. That’s some pretty concrete stuff. So, seriously, how much is this goddamn appointment going to cost?”
Bella’s doctor couldn’t believe how misguided and optimistic she was.
“What’s next? She’s going to want to know if we take her insurance? Sorry to have to be the one to say it, but sometimes the answer is just ‘Who knows?’ or ‘In a sense.’”
In spite of her doctor’s words, Bella was determined to not give up.
“I think if I just sit with these questions long enough, I might just discover what I’m meant to be doing on this planet, and maybe even how much an X-ray costs. But I know that’s a stretch.”
As of press time, Bella had gotten a bill for her appointment at long last. However, after she saw the amount, all she said was, “I guess sometimes questions are just better left unanswered.”
