Woman Keeps Walking Past Jonah’s Cubicle

Blacklake Accounting Firm is used to a flurry of activity around the holidays, but this year’s office buzz is fueled not by holiday spirit, but by Karen Kelly, who just won’t stop walking past colleague Jonah Acker’s cubicle.


“It’s pretty concerning,” coworker Caroline Taylor shared, gesturing to Karen’s empty cubicle. “I don’t know why, but it seems like she’s just on some constant nonsensical loop around the office that inevitably circles Jonah. Did something happen?”


With no recent office events and no known history between Karen and Jonah, Blacklake colleagues are stumped.


“One day she was just carrying around two donuts,” says Rose Harris, a partner at Blacklake. “She walked by Jonah’s cubicle every fifteen minutes the whole day, presumably to offer him one of the donuts. Jonah was out sick that day. Do you understand? Two donuts all damn day.”



Reports confirm that Jonah will be out of town for this year’s office holiday party, denying the employees of Blacklake a concrete opportunity to find out what the hell is going on.


“Does she know Jonah is dating someone?” Calvin Miller, who occupies the cubicle adjacent to Jonah, asked. “And does it matter? I’m not even convinced this is a romantic thing. It’s truly one of the most absurd things I’ve ever witnessed.”


Miller adds: “If I had Karen’s determination, I would have made partner by now.”


Karen could not be reached for comment, as she was pacing around the office again, brushing her hands across the top of Jonah’s cubicle.