31-year-old Justine Tremper created a secret Facebook group just for herself last week, in order to create a safe space where she could have sensitive conversations with no interference. What she didn’t realize was how much it would change her life.
“My regular Facebook page was getting pretty abusive, with people always commenting on things I wrote on my wall,” says Tremper. “I needed a place where I could say things free from the fear that someone might respond with something rude, triggering, or really anything at all.”
Tremper’s private Facebook page is called MeTime, although you can’t search for the page if you haven’t been invited, which no one has.
“This page is for me,” Tremper adds. “It’s where I feel safe, and can say anything to myself, or even invite myself to meetups, where I can talk to myself in person.”
Tremper remarked that the good thing about inviting only herself to her secret MeTime parties was that she knew if she was going to show up.
“If I say I’m going to my own party, I’m going,” said Tremper, adding that she’d never be one of those people who responds “Going” or “Interested” and then just doesn’t show up. “If I took the time to invite myself to a party and I can’t make it, I’ll always tell myself right away. Otherwise it’s just rude.”
While Tremper doesn’t usually publicly discuss the topics she discusses with herself on MeTime, for this article she revealed that some of her recent topics of self-talk included:
- Muffin top anxiety
- Whether mimosas improve memory function
- Written reviews of recent dates
- Why Dustbusters are pointy now
“I’m not going to reveal the details of those conversations,” says Tremper, adding that her inclusion in her own private Facebook page is based on trust, and that she’d be willing to kick herself out of her own group if she violated that trust.
“We don’t really hear from Justine anymore,” says Tremper’s longtime friend Amy Jackson. “We just figured she got into drugs or something.”
“Do I get lonely sometimes? Yes I do,” says Tremper. “I guess it’s because it actually is just me in there, talking to myself day after day. But I have some really great conversations with myself. An even when those conversations get a little contentious, there’s always a certain level of respect and consideration. I guess loneliness is just the price I pay for feeling safe.”