Power-Hungry Woman Asks To Turn Down AC

In a move that shocked coworkers, alpha bitch Victoria King asked if someone could turn down the air conditioning during a meeting on Thursday. King, a lead analyst, reportedly said the room “felt cold” before asking, “Hey, could we turn down the AC?”


While everyone agreed that the room was cold, they believed King could have phrased the request in a less threatening way than, “Hey, could we turn down the AC?”


“The masculine energy was traumatizing,” coworker Ben Garcia explains. “She didn’t even say sorry before asking! I was confused because she didn’t even giggle or apologize for feeling cold in a cold room.”


Manager Fred Stern told reporters that after King’s outburst, productivity and team harmony hit a new low.


“Two members of my team have called out sick at least once since her rampage. People aren’t smiling or responding as promptly to emails, and someone stole the stapler in the supply room,” says Stern. “Even I’m scared.”



Assistant manager Adam Cohen reportedly tried to offset King’s belligerent energy by explaining how temperature works.


“Actually, what she really meant was for someone to open a window,” Cohen chuckles. “I explained it to her and she seemed to understand. She told me we’re on the 20th floor so the windows are sealed shut, but it’s not my fault that I didn’t know that.”


Cohen is afraid that this is just the beginning of King’s power plays.


“What’s next? Stopping birthday cake because she’s diabetic? Getting rid of the office chairs and just have stand-up desks?, Have a sexual harassment seminar every year? It’s a slippery slope.”


In a written statement, King said she will not apologize for causing so much disarray, and has no immediate plans to “take over” her department. Meanwhile, a black cardigan appeared on the back of her chair overnight. It might be a coincidence, but it would appear someone is trying to send a message.