Why I Talk Through Movies So They All Pass the Bechdel Test

Films can transport you to entirely different places, with new perspectives and thrilling stories. We go to the movies to escape our lives and take in something new and exciting, but sadly, a lot of films are severely lacking in nuanced representation of women. That’s why I talk through every movie I watch so they all pass the Bechdel test with flying colors.


According to Alison Bechdel’s famous comic strip, in order for a film to pass the Bechdel test it must have two women characters who talk to each other about something other than a man. But what about all the good movies that don’t pass but I still want to enjoy? This is exactly why whenever I see a movie that only has one woman, or two women who only talk about men, or even a movie that already passes the test, I make sure to add my own dialogue by yelling at the screen (about other women, of course).


That’s right – I’m making every film more feminist, one unsolicited comment at a time!


Since the Bechdel test strictly states that women can talk about anything as long as it doesn’t involve a man, I don’t limit my vocabulary when I talk through these movies either. Women in film should be able to talk about anything, and so I add my unique female-centric perspective by yelling out advice to the characters, giving my honest opinion on what they’re wearing, or just what I had for lunch that day.



I think it’s safe to say that Alison Bechdel would approve of any movie I’ve seen, especially since they all have female led casts because I’ve sat in front of them while talking about whatever I want.


However, many other theatergoers have disapproved of my methods, saying things like “shut the fuck up!” or “shhh!”, which is obviously misogynistic and honestly just ignorant. But well-behaved women seldom make history, which is why I’ve pledged to continue doing this difficult and important work for as long as I’m still allowed in the remaining movie theaters in my area.


I’m tired of seeing movies that don’t pass this well-known feminist test, and everyone else should be too. I simply won’t stand for any film that doesn’t feature two women talking about their own rich, beautiful lives, which is why I’ll happily sit in front of them and say just about anything instead.  For example, I can’t wait to see the bold new feminist film Oppenheimer next year!