DUDE CORNER: What Am I Supposed to Do? Touch My Own Lower Back?

Dude Corner

 Hey y’all, how’s it hangin’? Your dick I mean, haha. But seriously; I know these are crazy times, and it’s okay to feel upset about the little day to day things we’ve lost due to the pandemic. Personally, I find myself with a lot of questions about how I’m supposed to regain a sense of normalcy isolated in my house. Like many of my fellow dudes, I’m wondering: Do I have a big enough table to play solo beer pong? Are you really supposed to wash socks? And am I supposed to just… touch my own lower back now?


I mean, what the fuck.


Before quarantine, I loved to spend night after night with my guys, PJ and Chuckie, at our favorite bar down the road, AC’s. During trips to the bathroom in between slamming back millers, I’d slide a hand against the back of a girl or two. I know it sounds silly, but I just wanted to let them know I was behind them. The bar was pretty spacious so they’d otherwise have no reason to think I’d be squeezing past them so close!


Now that I’m all alone in my house, I’m at a loss. The other night, my roomie and I were sitting on my indoor lawn chairs, having a few Michelob Ultras while playing GTA and suddenly nature started calling. But on my way to the bathroom, I had no one to touch. I did some research and physical contact is actually really important for mental health. In that way, sliding behind women I don’t know and intimately touching their backs in bars (no matter how empty) was self-care for me. And for them.



I guess I could put my hand on my roommate’s lower back, but for some reason, it just doesn’t feel right. I just feel like he’d be like, “stop it, dude.” And obviously I’d listen to that because I respect him. I don’t know — I can’t put my finger on why that feels different, but I’m sure you guys understand.


So, what am I supposed to do? Should I touch my own lower back? I’ve tried it a few times but I feel stupid. Sometimes I’d like to switch it up a little and put my hands on both of their hips, kind of like we knew each other, except they didn’t know me at all. So it doesn’t feel as satisfying when I do that to myself, mostly because I know me and I’m expecting it.


Message me on Reddit and let me know what you guys have been doing to overcome this.