What do you do when your vagina has that pesky vagina smell? Get rid of it as fast as possible with these handy steps!
1. Go Totally Dental
How do you keep your mouth-breath fresh? Toothbrush, toothpaste and mouthwash, of course. Believe it or not, the same goes for downtown: brush your lady lips for 90 seconds twice a day. Just don’t get carried away and brush too hard! Also, try flossing your pubic hair to rid your downstairs of food and debris.
2. Not Your Mother’s Rug Shampooer
It’s an industry secret, but popular home steam-cleaning giant Stanley Steemer will allow you to schedule a full vaginal treatment today through their usual service teams. A cleaning crew will come to your home between 10am and 4pm for a groundbreaking vaginal treatment, perfect for eliminating heavy-duty odors.
We’re crazy about these sweet little satchels! Potpourri allows you to insert dried sweet smelling flora right up the old eerie canal. Find an array of fun aromas such as Shrinking Violet, Just Orchid, and Apple Spice. Use only for short periods of time to avoid Toxic Shock Syndrome and smelling too “homey.”.
4. Freshen From The Inside Out
Any woman who has ever had steamed asparagus for lunch can verify that everything you put into your body wafts right back out. Make a cocktail containing the beverage of your choice (red wine, iced tea, or almond milk) then add two cups of Febreze. Allow 45-60 minutes for digestion. You’ll be smelling nothing down there but fresh laundry and a spring morning.
5. Revamp Your Vulva
Let’s face it: you can’t trade in your vagina for a new one. But you can remodel! A new, state of the art, experimental technology can replace the top layer of your vulva with a fresh new mucus membrane. The ladies of the NYC elite have been lining up in droves for this controversial new treatment. While this mildly invasive procedure may cause permanent scarring, it’s totally worth the fresh start for your parts – and is available in hair-free!
Remember, there’s nothing more unnatural than the scent of vagina coming from a vagina. If you smell anything at all from down there, fix it – before it’s too late.