In a developing story emerging from the coffee shop where you’re catching up with your two friends Francesca and Amina, you just expressed discontent with your career trajectory, romantic prospects, and general vibe and seconds later, your hot friend Francesca chimed in that she “completely relates.”
Unlikely story, babe! You’re literally hot!
“I just feel like I’ve been on a series of dates with guys who aren’t exactly ‘my type’ or don’t seem that interested in me,” you said, taking the opportunity to “get real” with your closest friends. “And I’m starting to worry I may never find someone that I like who likes me too.”
After Amina and Francesca spent the necessary time reassuring you that things will all work out in the end, Francesca – who is a known 10 and regularly doesn’t have to pay sales tax at restaurants just ‘cause – went a step further and said, “For what it’s worth, I completely relate. That sort of thing is tough for me, too!”
Both you and Amina appeared extremely shocked by this statement, as it is widely accepted that Francesca’s life is really good and cool, on account of her being hot.
When you said this out loud, Francesca replied that hot people experience strife as well. Reporters are investigating this claim, and the verdict remains out.
“Like, sometimes I worry that the guys I like won’t like me back,” she continued, which was honestly kind of relatable. “And it can take up to four weeks for a crush of mine to finally ask me out.”
Uh oh! Not the same thing!
Francesca then described four separate situations that she expected to be relatable, but each just ended up being an extremely specific Hot Person Experience.
“I was worried about finding my passion for a while, too,” she continued, yet again starting strong. “But then I decided ‘What will be, will be,’ and once I internalized that, a guy offered me a gig writing celebrity profiles the next day! I mean, sure, it’s not Vogue, but it’s Vanity Fair! Baby steps.”
According to sources at the scene, your eyes became squintier and squintier as time went on, and your mouth remained agape.
After the meeting, you later made a point to check yourself: “Perhaps it was problematic to assume that Francesca did not experience adversity just because she regularly got free coffee from restaurants that do not typically serve coffee. After all, she may be hot, but she is also French, and that probably comes with its own challenges.”
