In concerning news out of New York, NY, you’ve just come to the haunting realization that your boss, the person who pays your salary and then tells you what to do, considers you their best friend.
Somebody call 911, cause when you think of how many people this person must have alienated for you to be the person they’re texting because their cat is sick, you might need to be taken away in an ambulance.
“Seriously, I love that I can always come to you for advice,” your 37-year-old boss Sandra, said. “Thanks again, bestie!”
Time to get that résumé updated and that phone number changed ASAP, cause this bitch is about to ask you to be maid of honor at her wedding or some shit.
“I just really love how well we work together,” added Sandra, who loves to tell you exactly what you’re doing wrong in bullet-pointed emails. “Did you see that meme I just sent you on Instagram? I know you haven’t been watching my stories lately so I just sent it to you directly.”
Sandra adores your easygoing nature and ability to roll with the punches, not because you are her friend, but because that is part of your job you are paid to do.
“Wanna get drinks after work? I’ll put it on the company card,” Sandra said recently. “I wanna show you this guy I met on Tinder. We had a suuuuper sloppy date last night and it’s a long story that I need to tell you over several margaritas.”
Sources around you report that while this seems fun at first, you are not getting paid enough to bear the emotional labor of being an employee and a friend to an extremely toxic person.
“Hey girl!” she texted you on a recent weekend. “I saw you put in a vacation request for August. Where ya goin’? Can I come?? LOL just kidding….I could use it though!”
Your fear of the repercussions of not answering outweigh the fear that she is going to ask if she can come along on your trip to the Bahamas.
