In a disappointing development for you, the gossip your friend Eva shared with you over lunch just now is the sad kind.
“Eva’s my friend from high school, and her family still lives in town so she gets the local goss,” you explain. “When she asked me if I remembered two of our old teachers, I thrilled with anticipation, but then it took a huge bummer of a turn.”
Eva reportedly informed you that former English teacher Mrs. Huynh and former science teacher Mr. Grinnell left their spouses for each other, which was super exciting, but that shortly thereafter Mr. Grinnell died of a heart attack, which is actually just incredibly sad.
“It started so strong,” you say. “I was basically frothing at the mouth ready to ask a million follow-up questions about their affair, but then she came in with the news about Mr. G, which just sucks.”
“I mean, obviously it sucks for him, and it sucks for Mrs. Huynh, and all of their loved ones, but it also really sucks for me,” you add. “Like, I don’t know how to process that.”
“Anyway, I should probably go back to the table, but I feel like the vibe is weird now because we have to sit in the sadness of this.”
Witnesses confirm that you should have known something bad was coming because even though the first half of the gossip was juicy, Eva introduced the whole thing with a pronounced grimace before saying, “Okay, so-“
“Gossip is supposed to be fun,” you say. “But now I’m contemplating mortality and feeling bad for people I hadn’t thought about in eight years.”
Honestly, this really is unfair to you.
While you were concerned that the lunch vibes would be permanently off because of a person you sort of know’s premature death, we are glad to report that by dessert you were both laughing at the cringey pregnancy announcement photos of a woman from your 8th grade home economics class.
