Toxic Friend Is Always Free to Hang

In a surprising story coming out of Brooklyn, NY, it appears that your toxic friend, 24-year-old Tia Montgomery, is always free to hang,


“Does anyone wanna go thrifting this weekend? I need some new shirts!” Tia texted in the group chat this morning, despite the fact that last time you all went thrifting together she told you that vertical stripes would make your ‘figure look better’ and then told your other friend that she should donate what she was wearing to the thrift store you were all at.


Sources report that no one responded to the message, except your friend Makayla Holmes, who heart reacted to it around four hours later.


“Honestly, I would love to do some thrifting,” you say. “But not with Tia, and now it feels too mean to make that plan without her, so I guess I’ll just stay home this weekend. Her toxicity is so powerful.”


Tia, who is always available to give you terrible advice or try to make you do shrooms with her on a Wednesday, has not dedicated any of her immense free time to interpreting how her actions might be alienating.


“It seems like all of my friends have been really busy lately,” Tia said. “And it’s like, that’s great for them! Like, it’s really cool. I also have a lot going on too. But if anyone wanted to hang, I would probably be able to reschedule some things.”


Sources indicate that Tia actually used to double-book all her friends, and then cancel on the one she liked less at the last minute so “rescheduling” is definitely her forte.


“Also, if people aren’t free this weekend, I’m basically free after work every day this week! Just lmk!” Tia texted in the group chat a few hours later.



Ugh, who’s gonna tell her?


At press time, Tia is still eager to hang with anyone that she can put down emotionally, and hopefully no one gives in. You’ll all have to deal with the frequent group chat notifications though, because none of you want to deal with conflict!