Music Festival Tragedy Crop Top (Free People, $58)
This bohemian, 60s-style crop top is perfect for all the outdoor musical festivals you are planning on hitting up this summer. Your man will be so captivated by your free-spirited vibes that he will be lathered into a homicidal state and kill all the male musicians in the area simply for “singing to you”. Once he kills Nate Ruess from Fun., he has a shot at replacing him if he doesn't go to jail! You've always dreamed of dating the lead singer of the band Fun.! That’s a major plus!