Date Night Murder Crop Top (Urban Outfitters, $98)
When you’re splitting a tableful of tapas, stoke your caveman’s fire with this flirty crop top. Not only will you get the attention from your special guy, you will get the attention of onlookers when he kills your waiter, just for coming near you! Whether or not he was giving you "eyes" doesn't matter. Your boyfriend will be unable to verbalize his animal-like rage and might just guard the carcass until police are forced to shoot him. Uhhh, check, please! This crop top rocks!