Self-Care Queen! This Woman Sometimes Changes Her Bong Water

happy woman next to kind of clean bong

Bow down before her Highness, because we could all learn a thing or two from Maggie Wellington: This 26-year-old self-care queen sometimes changes her bong water.


“Yeah, it’s true,” says the inimitable Maggie. “Sometimes I’ll just look at it and it’s all sort of brown-green, pungent, filled with bloated little chunks of weed that fell down there, like a sort of filthy swamp. And then I’ll dump that out and put some new water in there.”


Okay, this girl has got her priorities straight!


“I was reading about it online, and dirty bong water is basically a breeding ground for bacteria, then when you smoke from it, you’re just inhaling that bacteria directly into your lungs, so I guess that’s bad,” Maggie says. “Apparently the bacteria starts developing after 24 hours, but I figure it can’t get, like, lethal or anything for at least a month, so I normally change it every couple weeks.”


Wow! Trying to avoid illness or death is about as goals as self-care can get, but ever striving for more, Maggie doesn’t stop there.



“I actually took everything apart and gave it a real soaking and scrubbing with baking soda and vinegar, like, back in April, so that was pretty deluxe,” says Maggie. “Maybe I’ll do that today, or, well, maybe not today. But I should do that again soon.”


Color us impressed. But how does she do it?


“The important thing to remember about self-care is that it’s shame-based,” explains Maggie. “I don’t really care that I’m breathing in bacteria when I smoke with filthy bong water, but I know that I should care.”


“That sense of my behavior being shameful and disgusting is really all I need to convince myself it’s time to change it,” she adds. “Oh, also, they say clean water makes for a more pleasant smoking experience, but I’m more of a weed is my Ambien stoner than a trying to have a whole nice time smoking stoner, so on that front, I’m like, whatever.”


If that doesn’t have you inspired to take better care of yourself and your bong, we don’t know what will!