Shoulders are some of the largest and most complex joints in the body. But like, why would they make you horny? They’re completely odorless and can’t fit into any hole. What’s going on here? Take this quiz to find out!
A shoulder is hot because it’s close to:
- Nipples, sort of.
- My face when we hug.
- The other shoulder, baby! I love a good shoulder.
What’s the sexiest thing shoulders can wear?
- Spaghetti straps.
- A backpack full of books.
- My clit and/or anus. It’s just so powerful!
Do the shoulders have to be broad?
- It’s all about the proportion to the hips.
- I’m more into posture.
- Broad or narrow, we’re roleplaying that I’m giving birth to you, shoulders first!
Sometimes shoulders are hairy. Is that part of this whole thing?
- Hair can definitely be sexy—wherever it is.
- Helping a partner shave their back hair is such a sweet bonding activity.
- Hair wasn’t a part of this whole thing, but now? It totally is. Ohhh mama. I can taste them.
When you hear the phrase “rotator cuff,” what comes to mind?
- Sweaty, sexy athletes.
- Cuffing season! Aww.
- Subscapularis… supraspinatus… infraspinatus… my teres minor is becoming a teres major as we speak!
Results:
Most A’s: Shoulders turn you on because they are a part of the human body, which you find sexy overall. Turns out, you’re just horned up for flesh. That actually makes sense. Carry on with your horny-for-shoulders-among-other-things life.
Mostly B’s: Shoulders rev your engine because of what they represent: strength, confidence, and metaphors for responsibility. Okay, this type of horniness actually makes sense, too. Shoulders do convey a lot about a person. You keep doing you!
Mostly C’s: Shoulders really, truly press your bench. In a kind of a weird way. But honestly, after all this horny shoulder talk, we’re actually starting to get it. Know any good websites?
