Going through a breakup is a difficult thing, and requires time, patience, and support from the people closest to you. Although this person was a very important part of your life, now is the time to let them go by deleting their number, getting rid of their pictures, and blocking them on social media (only to view their profiles in incognito mode). Here are some things you can do to forget about him by only looking at his social media in incognito, which doesn’t count because it’s not you! It’s a tiny detective with glasses.
It’s time for you to take some time off for yourself! Put on a seaweed face mask and order those boots online, girl! You need to cleanse your mind and let this man go! After giving up your phone at the front desk and taking a vow of silence, break into the technological device vault after three days to go incognito and check his Facebook to see who he’s standing next to at that after-work-drinks-thing. Whose elbow is that? Check the tag, you’re on incognito so you won’t accidentally tag yourself like last time! If this is Jessica from work’s elbow, you are going to lose it.
Purge Your Relationship Junk Drawer
Out of sight, out of mind! Ditch all physical memories of him, including the perfume samples he gifted you for Christmas and the photos of you two kissing in the mall photo booth. Better yet, go through your phone and delete every picture of him. You do not need random pictures reminding you of how cute and tall he is, especially since you’re going to see photos of him anyway when you go on a private browser to look through his Instagram. You can scroll through all of it and never accidentally like anything, because you’re on incognito, you sneaky bitch!
Get A Hot Rebound
Remember that guy from work that talks about being keto all the time, especially when you eat dollar pizza for lunch? You should flirt with him, and maybe even entice him with some keto snacks like a hunk of steak on a paper plate or something. Have an awesome one night stand with him, and when he falls asleep on your IKEA mattress and your existential dread kicks in, open your laptop and give your ex’s twitter a little refresher. Wait, why the fuck is he retweeting quotes about “letting go of the past”? Are you “the past”?! What a piece of shit. This is exactly why you are moving on and looking at his tweets in incognito mode.
Try out these tips to help you power through this breakup and live your best life. Forget all about him by using incognito mode to go through his social media to see what he’s up to. Boy, bye!