It’s a classic meet cute. You’re on the bus, heading to god knows where, when you see her bathed in warm sunlight in the back row: the perfect woman. She’s reading a copy of the book your friends have been trying to get you to start, as if she doesn’t care that the bus is stopping and starting and bouncing constantly. Take this quiz to find out if you’re genuinely finding it hot that she’s reading or if you just find it hot that she’s not carsick.
How would you describe this girl?
1: Smart, engaged, mysterious.
2: Well-balanced, stable, someone whose inner ear fluid is completely at ease. What a woman.
Would you be as into her if you were both in a library right now?
1: Even more so! She reads a ton of books? Sign me up!
2: Nah. The “bus” of it all is playing a huge role in this.
Do you typically find reading attractive?
1: Yes! Reading is a sign of intelligence, and I’d say I’m a bit of a sapiosexual myself.
2: Not really. Reading is easy. Reading on the bus, though, now that takes skill, drive, and passion. She doesn’t play by the rules. She doesn’t feel like she’s going to throw up right now. And that’s hot.
What is she reading?
1: Dante’s Inferno. The whole damn thing. Also, I’m sorry about saying that “sapiosexual” thing. It felt icky right after I said it.
2: Can’t say. Bus is too bouncy. But boy, she is not letting that stop her. Is it hot in here?
Is she wearing motion-stabilizing glasses with viscous fluid in them to create an artificial horizon?
1: What? No. I didn’t know those existed. She’s just reading on the bus.
2: Yes! And she is looking good in those puppies. Making them work for her in a real way. Hoo-wee!
Results:
Mostly 1s: You’re into her because she’s reading! This is completely normal and very common. Make a move! Or actually, don’t. Clearly, she is busy and it would be annoying of you to interrupt her. Settle for having a passing attraction, babe. Love is fleeting!
Mostly 2s: You’re just into her because she isn’t getting carsick, and we totally get it – that’s hot as hell! What a beguiling, non-queasy woman. Don’t let this one slip through your fingers. Wait until you aren’t nauseous anymore, put on your own motion-stabilizing glasses, and get to flirting!
