Threesomes are an alluring and common sexual fantasy – but are you interested in having one strictly for sexual gratification, or do you just like the idea of having Steve Martin and Martin Short dote on you? Take this quiz to find out!
What about a threesome appeals to you?
1. It seems exciting and I want to start experimenting more in my sex life.
2. I like the idea of being taken care of – nurtured, really. It doesn’t have to be sexual at all.
What type of people would you want to have a threesome with?
1. People around my age who I share some common interests with (namely, group sex).
2. Just spitballing here, but I’m kind of picturing myself with two men in their early to late seventies, who perhaps make up either half of a wholesome comedy duo and who I’ve never, ever thought about sexually.
What’s your favorite thing about sex in general?
1. Having someone I’m romantically interested in bring me to orgasm.
2. The time period after the sex is over where you’re just hanging out and talking and receiving career/life advice from two kind-hearted industry veterans.
When did you start wanting a threesome?
1. Pretty much my entire adult life.
2. Maybe like September 2021? Around the time when I was binge-watching the first season of Only Murders in the Building.
What’s your timeline for engaging in the threesome?
1. There’s no rush, really. I’d just like for it to occur naturally and spontaneously. So, whenever it happens, it happens.
2. As soon as possible. Like, now would be best. Before all my prospects are dead or otherwise incapacitated or, like, busy with filming or something.
Results:
Mostly 1s: You want a threesome! Sure, you wouldn’t mind having one with Steve Martin and Martin Short, but it doesn’t have to be with them. In fact, it probably would be better if it wasn’t, because you’re shit at the banjo and The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause was your least favorite in The Santa Clause franchise. What would you even talk about?
Mostly 2s: Yeah, there’s absolutely nothing sexual about your desires – you just want two elderly best friends to invite you into their little circle like Steve Martin and Martin Short did with Selena Gomez. Good luck trying to weasel your way into that friend group!
