Old College Boyfriend Excited to Pretend He Was Always Right About Whatever Election Results Are

While the results of the upcoming election are life-or-death for many people, your old college boyfriend Max Gleeson thinks it’s all good so long as gets to pretend he was always right about whatever the results are.


“In 2016, everyone thought Hillary was going to win in a landslide, but I always said, let’s just wait till election day, I’m not sure these polls are to be trusted,” says Gleeson, who didn’t. “Obviously, I didn’t like being right about that, but when you’re not just seeing what you want to see, few things can surprise you.”


“A lot of people were blind to the wave of Trumpism that was brewing just beneath the surface before the election,” says Gleeson who is correct and was also one of them. “This year, things are different but also the same. They’re different in a different way.”


Sources report the practice of making statements meaningless enough to twist in any direction down the road is common practice for Gleeson.


“Max’s MO has always been to try and position himself as an outside commentator on politics despite the fact that he’s not outside of it and has nothing of value to say,” says Gleeson’s ex, Julia Castillo. “It must be nice to be able to look at this election from an intellectual distance, but I don’t want to hear about it.”


“Can you imagine thinking literally anyone cares about whether you correctly called the results of this election?” Castillo adds. “Seriously, I can’t imagine.”



But despite such criticism, Gleeson remains in good spirits as he prepares to gloat over his imagined ability to correctly anticipate future events.


“I don’t think I’m smarter than anyone else,” says Gleeson. “I’m just lucky to be unrestrained by group think, so I can see things as they actually are. It can be alienating, but that’s the price I pay.”


Gleeson is expected to keep posting contradictory polls and political analysis on Facebook, then tell everyone he “knew it” once a winner is announced.


“The wild thing is, I think once he finds out what’s happening, he genuinely convinces himself he called it,” says Castillo. “Like a useless, anti-prophet, who also I dated for seven months when I was 20. What can you do?”