‘Not To Be That Guy,’ Begins That Guy

In an entirely predictable story coming out of Brooklyn, NY, Henry Feinstein, the guy you’re on a first date with, has a controversial take on women in the workforce that he really wants to tell you, but he’s not gonna be “that guy” about it, even though he totally is.


“Not to be that guy,” Henry opened, “but I don’t think that women should be firefighters. Like, they’re just smaller and weaker and it’s probably way more dangerous for them, y’know?”


Apparently he thought he’d get away with this comment because of how he prefaced it, and how tried to cover up his sexism by pretending that he actually cares about women, when he really doesn’t.


“I’m not sexist or anything, don’t get me wrong,” he continued, “but biologically, it just doesn’t make sense.”


Witnesses report that it was an interesting point coming from someone who has little to no knowledge about fire departments or “biology”.


“I don’t think that makes any sense,” you told him. “Like that makes no sense at all.”


However, when you tried to give your point of view, Henry seemed to be a little less tolerant than how he tried to seem earlier.


“Well not to be that guy,” Henry said, “but I’m just voicing my opinion, but I guess that’s not allowed anymore if you’re a man.”


We’ve received reports that what he said was actually totally okay because as he clearly stated beforehand, he is not trying to be that guy. Phew!


At press time, Henry has changed his approach and is now telling people “I know what this sounds like, but hear me out,” before he says anything he knows is bad, prejudiced, or just downright ignorant.




Thanks for the warning, Henry!