No Shit! Wildly Successful Person Believes in Manifestation

In a tale of making your dreams your reality, three-time Oscar winning Los Angeles resident Belle Kennedy, who also recently achieved billionaire status, is making her belief in manifestation known.


“I don’t know, I’ve just always believed that dreams do come true,” said the wealthy and well-liked Kennedy, who confirmed that, yes, she is in fact a distant relative of the Kennedy Kennedys. “My dreams have always come true, so I really don’t have any reason to believe otherwise.”


“People are always like, ‘Oh, it’s so difficult to achieve a high level of success’ and ‘There are so many systemic factors that hold people back,’” continued Kennedy, who is also super conventionally attractive. “And I’m just like, ‘Well, have they even tried manifestation?’ People give up so easily these days!”


It’s true – studies show the top 1% is comprised of those who didn’t give up on hoarding their wealth.


“Things have always kind of worked out for me,” Kennedy added. “I attribute that solely to my highly sporadic manifestation practices and not to any sort of social or economic head-starts I may or may not have been granted in my life. It’s good, old-fashioned visualization, baby!”


Sources confirmed that said “visualization” is notably easier when the life you’re visualizing is the same life you’re already looking at.


When asked if she had any evidence that manifestation was really doing the heavy lifting in her life, Kennedy reported that she had a staggering amount of generational wealth to prove it.


“I just know manifestation works,” she said. “I mean, I have a 6,000 square foot estate on 60 acres of land, with an infinity pool and an in-bathroom sauna – of course it works! And for everyone wondering: yes, you can manifest an Amex Black Card!”


While Kennedy’s current manifestation practices have led to such things like getting cast in the movie her dad was producing, she explained that her manifestation journey actually had quite humble beginnings.



“One time, when I was little, I wished for a horse, and then my rich parents bought one for me,” she told reporters. “From that moment on, I knew that manifestation was the real deal.”


At press time, Kennedy spotted a stray $100 bill on the sidewalk, picked it up, and attributed her luck to “the power of positive thinking,” while witnesses at the scene reported to have seen the bill fall out of her own bag just moments before.