In an inspiring story out of San Francisco, CA, Maya Lucero says she’s not having kids, not because she doesn’t want to start a family, but because she doesn’t want to have to do fractions again.
We love a woman who accepts her truth!
“Once I graduated from elementary school, I swore I’d never touch long division ever again,” Maya says. “Not even a latent desire to start a family of my own could be enough to override that promise I made to my younger self.”
Yes, girl! Let that intense aversion to basic arithmetic guide your every adult decision!
Sources close to Maya say that her math-related trauma has impacted others besides just herself.
“She didn’t even want me to have kids!” reports Maya’s older sister, Isabel. “She said, and I quote, ‘I can’t believe you’d bring life into this dying planet, and multiplication worksheets back into our lives. You’re so selfish.’ My daughter is seven now, and Maya still refuses to visit during the school year.”
“There was a stray worksheet out on the dining room table one time when Maya came over,” Isabel continues. “She freaked out, screamed, ‘Kids all have calculators on their phones now anyways! What’s the point?’ then said she’d never be visiting our house outside of the summer months ever again. Which is insane because she lives just down the street.”
Maya tells reporters that her childhood directly impacted her decision to not have children of her own.
“My childhood was wonderful, actually,” she says. “Outside of the occasional math worksheet I had to bring home. But it was a struggle for me then, so I know it would be a struggle for me now, and no ‘perfect, borderline idyllic childhood’ could ever make me want to relive that minor trauma ever again, let alone inflict it upon another human.”
It heartens us to see someone who knows their own limits so well – no matter how menial.
At press time, reporters asked Maya whether or not the steep cost of living had any impact on her decision to not have children, to which she responded, “Cost of living? Are you really asking me to do calculations right now? Get the hell out of here! Math is a plague upon my life!”