After a multi-car accident in 2018, Akron native Martha Johnson recently woke up from a coma that lasted nearly two years. But this unfortunate and life-altering state allowed her to avoid one of the most difficult paradigm shifts the modern world has ever faced.
That’s right: She woke from her coma having absolutely no idea what a “boy mom” is, or that it is even a thing. Jealous? We sure are!!
“It was a long time before she could walk or eat on her own,” says one of Martha’s nurses, Jacqui Wright. “But when someone in the hall said, ‘I’m such a boy mom,’ she didn’t react at all. I thought, wow, what an incredibly peaceful and pure place she’s in for this brief moment in time.”
We know you’re absolutely seething with jealousy over the fact that her brain is unsaddled by knowing that a woman can build her entire personality around being the mother of boys!
“I know I went through a lot of trauma, and it’s going to be a long time before I catch up with what I missed,” says Marsha. “I’m sure there’s a lot of fun stuff, too. Got anything good?”
We sure don’t, Marsha! We want to protect you as long as possible from this cursed knowledge.
“People seem to be protecting me from catching up with all the bad news cause it might affect my recovery,” Marsha added. “But I accidentally just learned who Jake Paul was. I mean, how much worse can it get?”
Only slightly worse, Marsha!