Nick Jonas’ Penis Punches Paparazzi

A Los Angeles photographer is pressing charges against Nick Jonas after his penis allegedly punched the photographer on October 7th. The photographer claims that he was trying to snap a shot of the star’s penis as it left the gym.


This is the latest stunt from Jonas’s penis in its supposed attempt to shed its sweet Disney image in favor of the “bad boy penis” showcased in Flaunt magazine.


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The paparazzi who was struck by Jonas’s penis was admitted to a nearby Los Angeles hospital, where he is currently being treated for minor injuries.


“Of course I’m shocked,” says photographer Marcus Richards. “But, none of that offends me as much as Nick Jonas thinking it’s okay to grow up.”


Doctors in charge of Richards report he should be released by the end of the week, but fans should expect Jonas and his newly adult penis to endure a prolonged trial. “I don’t expect lawyers to give a soft punishment just because we’re dealing with a celebrity penis.”


Jonas’ penis was not available for comment.