In an exhilarating story out of Denver, CO, 27-year-old Talia Waters loves her daily routine, as long as it’s different every day.
“I love abiding by a routine!” Talia told reporters. “As long as it’s always different and never the same, that is. It’s just so good to get in a good, unpredictable flow.”
Sources told reporters that while Talia seems to love her routine, it’s a difficult practice to emulate.
“I wanted to get in a good routine like Talia,” said one of Talia’s close friends, James. “So I went to her for advice and she said ‘Go for a run first thing in the morning!’ But then when I saw her again, I told her I had done that and she told me she only works out at night? I don’t understand. What kind of routine is that?”
Others close to Talia said it’s hard to get a read on how exactly she spends her time.
“One morning she’s drinking tea and journaling, then the next, she’s sleeping in and having a big breakfast in bed?” said Talia’s girlfriend, Lexi. “It’s a very stressful way to live.”
Lexi continued, saying, “She claims to love her routine, but I can never, ever predict what she’ll be doing at any given time. And I live with her!”
Talia said routine is all about never doing the same thing twice. Reporters were pretty sure that’s the opposite of what it means, but Talia persisted.
“My whole routine is centered around never living the same day twice,” she said. “For example, this Monday my routine included brushing my teeth, flossing, and doing my skincare, but this Tuesday my routine was watching 12 episodes of Grey’s Anatomy, eating a bag of Takis, and not answering any of my texts. It feels so good to give my days structure like that!”
Both reporters and those close with Talia tried to explain to her that this was less “structure” and more “untempered chaos,” but no one could get through to her.
As of press time Talia had declared that she stands by her routine and would never change it – by which she meant that she would continue to change it every day until she dies.
