Movie Important Because Sad  

It has become clear from the reactions of critics and audiences alike that this very serious new movie is important because it is sad.


“The subject matter? Sad. The things that happen to the characters? Terrible,” said one critic, James Marzipan. “Everyone feels bad and it is very important.”


In the sad movie that is the best of the millennium, some people cry and others just yell. When you think it can’t get any worse, there is a car crash!


“You have this guy,” said Marzipan of the film’s protagonist. “And everything that happens to him is horrible. He feels awful, and his life is garbage. Even his dog dies! It’s very meaningful to feel sad in my brain, and others.”


In the stirring film, everyone’s apartment is shitty, and the ones that are nice are even more bad because their inhabitants have emotional problems.


“Writer and director Chris Mark has really done it again,” said an Internet person. “This movie is so raw, I cried. Crying is thinking!”



The sadness of Mark’s script is matched only by the sadness of the original score, composed by Dutch twin prodigies who are always tired.


The Van Dijk Brothers have been scoring Mark’s films since age 7 and are currently pursuing a B.A in asceticism at the Gallatin School of Individualized Study. They are never asleep.


“Tonally, Mark’s film is a bummer,” said UCLA professor of cinema studies Stephanie Rogers. “Feeling like this is huge.”


“Laughter is dishonest,” added Rogers. “Dissonant, gritty, and nauseating are all words.”


This movie is about everything. There is even a very old person.


Hats off, Chris Mark!