Mom Wants to Know When You’re Moving Home for Christmas

In reports out of your hometown, your mom desperately wants to know when you’ll be moving back home for Christmas.


Despite your own announcement that you’ll be traveling home for less than a week, your mom is convinced that you’ll be moving home in the immediate future, with Christmas being your most likely move-in date.


“Of course I’m not expecting her to move in right when she gets here,” your mom told reporters. “Obviously, she’ll need to get a real feel for the place before she starts sending in the moving trucks, which is fine because I’m a very patient person.”


This came as a surprise to you, since you have absolutely no intention of moving back home for Christmas, or at any other time in the future.


“I made it super clear that I was only coming home for six days,” you said. “But for some reason she thinks that I’ll change my mind and decide to live back home until I die. I’m not sure why she thinks that, but she definitely does.”


According to your mother, just because you aren’t convinced that you’ll move back home yet, doesn’t mean that you won’t later. When reached for comment, she said that she’ll give it until the end of your stay for you to decide to live with her long-term.



However, to you, it all seems pretty unlikely, especially since your lease doesn’t end for another eight months.


“Despite the fact that I already live in another city and have never been happier here,” you said, “I also have rent to pay, a job to work, friends to see, and actual peace of mind here. I love my mom, but why the hell would I ever want to move back?”


Your mom, however, doesn’t see the appeal of living away from her.


“How could she resist my cooking for so long?” she said. “When I make her my famous grilled cheese on Christmas Eve, then she’ll finally understand.”


At press time, your mom is researching cool things to do in your hometown for people in their twenties, which she plans to bring up to you every two hours.