‘I Want My MTV!’ and 5 Other Phrases to Soothe Your Old-Ass Boyfriend


Is your non-millennial boyfriend all riled up over petty things like paying bills, saving for his impending retirement, or having his work friends meet you? Throw these nostalgic phrases into any conversation to take him back to a time when he was even younger than you, and instantly calm him!


“I want my MTV!”

Is your man stressed about how to care for his aging parents? Throw your delicate little lady arms around him while you exclaim, “I want my MTV!” This will instantly take him back to a time when music played on television, you were a teeny tiny baby, and his mom was too busy worrying about whether he was smoking pot to worry about saving for retirement. He’ll forget all about his worries and take care of that cable bill so you can hit that HGTV HARD.



“All that and a bag of chips!”
So many older men are worrying about their diets—weight gain? Cholesterol? Deteriorating knee cartilage? Quietly tell him he’s “all that and a bag of chips” and you’ll take him back to the 90s, where he’s instantly relaxed and able to chow down on that cheesesteak you couldn’t finish but feel bad throwing away!


“Where’s the beef?”

Your boyfriend is at the age where he really has to worry about how and where he’s going to die. How do you give him peace of mind? By asking him where the beef is. You don’t have to understand the origin of this, but he will!


“Bye, Felicia!”

Girl, we know your boyf struggles with the demands his ex-wife places on him! Next time you see him staring angrily at one of her texts, hit him with a booming “Bye, Felicia!” It’ll blast him right back to the 90s when things were simpler and women could be easily dismissed. Plus, its resurgence as an internet meme will make you two feel more connected than ever!


“Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?”

Is your ever-graying, hurtling-through-his-late-30s dude going through a rough bout with depression? Burst out with a hilarious line from a commercial you sort of remember from when you were a toddler. Throw on a pretentious British accent and ask him, “Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?” This will let him know you love to joke around and remind him of the hours he spent watching TV before he knew real stress or anxiety.



“Space… The final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its continuing mission: to explore strange new worlds…to seek out new life and new civilizations…to boldly go where no one has gone before.”

Was your bf old enough in the 90s to be a hardcore OG Star Trek: The Next Generation fan? Then reciting the entire intro to the television show will certainly get his engine running with the fond memories of what that Klingon episode did for him spiritually. He will instantly forget that you’re almost the same age as his daughter, who is currently stressing him out by putting off her grad school applications.


There’s a lot going on in that old head of his. But that doesn’t mean you can’t soothe him with these simple throwback quotes!