Although I have always been against getting the COVID-19 vaccine and its boosters, I was unfortunately required to get them by my employer. But after getting the most recent booster, I finally have proof that the vaccine isn’t safe for the public.
That’s right — the vaccine made me text my ex the lyrics to “Hey Soul Sister” by Train, and I haven’t recovered since.
Many people have already posted their videos where they’re shaking uncontrollably after being injected with the government-mandated mystery juice, which is already cause for alarm. But the fact that the vaccine made me text the lyrics to a 2009 soft pop rock classic is even more horrifying.
My ex and I broke up two years ago on very bad terms, but after feeling sick and feverish from getting the covid shot, I found myself frantically typing out “Your lipstick stains / On the front lobe of my left side brains / I knew I wouldn’t forget you / And so I went and let you blow my mind.”
I guess Dr. Fauci must have conveniently left that side effect out when he was telling the public how “safe” the vaccine is!
Sure, I had already been sending him unanswered texts every month since we broke up, but this was way different. It also didn’t stop there; I ended up texting him the entirety of the song lyrics. So now, not only am I definitely blocked by him on every social media platform imaginable, but I’ve lost my own dignity in the process too.
Both Train and Pfizer will pay for this!
If I knew that accepting the vaccine would have resulted in quoting a song that features the ukulele, I would’ve just quit my job outright. Nothing is worth saying “So gangsta, I’m so thug / You’re the only one I’m dreaming of” in such an earnest way — not even steady employment.
I’m never taking another booster again!
Since the powers that be won’t tell you about the dangerous side effects of the microchip vaccine, let me be the one to break the news to you. This injection will make you do unspeakable things, like text song lyrics written about Burning Man to someone who has always ignored your messages and wants nothing to do with you.
Plus, if this doesn’t convince you, I have also posted a video of me singing the full song despite all of my attempts to stop it. Horrifying stuff.