When you were dating, you texted your boyfriend whenever you got good news. Now that you’re broken up, it’s even more important that he knows about all of the cool shit you’re “doing!” Here are some “accidental” messages that will give him the message that you are “totally fine” and doing “tons of cool shit” without him:
“Hey Mathias, Is Friday our fifth date already?!”
Let him know you’re back in the game. Come up with a sexy, model-esque name for your fake date that is alphabetically close to your ex’s.
“Whoa, last night was crazy, guy! Hope I didn’t get too out of control.”
Remind him how popular and fun you are AND how boring and alone he is with this solid text. He’ll probably text all your mutual friends asking if he should have gotten an invitation to something and wonder whether you hooked up with anyone he knows. Victory!
“I know, I’m psyched! Thank you sooo much for believing in me!”
Create an opening to talk about your newest achievement by pretending he already asked. Even if he doesn’t follow up, he’ll know something great happened to you!
Add in a nonsense text for authenticity.
“Two words: Enormous. Dick.”
Send this text on Saturday morning to gossip with your “friend” about your hot hookup last night. For best response, alter to whatever your ex is most self-conscious about. Past successes include “two words: supports. himself.” and “two words: not. bald.”
Just be sure to follow up each of these with an “Oops, not for you! Sorry! I thought I deleted your number already” and you’ll get the message across that you are doing way, way better than him.