While I’ve never had a child of my own, I can understand those who have gone through pregnancy and childbirth because, just last week, my food baby left me with postpartum depression.
I mean, it’s pretty much the same thing, right? Wait, why is that bad to say?
Sure, my experience was with excreting and subsequently flushing an amazing dinner I had at Applebee’s, not giving birth to a living, breathing human child – but still, I get the gist of it.
It’s an incredibly difficult thing to deal with, given that postpartum depression is already a sorely undertreated and underrecognized medical illness in our society, and it’s even more overlooked when what you “gave birth” to was an Applebee’s Chicken Tender Platter.
I know because after spending over 48 hours eating, digesting, experiencing intense cramping and constipation, and finally delivering what was once a delicious meal directly into my toilet, no one really cared that I was left with nothing but a vague sense of emptiness that threatened to consume my entire being.
I didn’t even get a kid out of the whole ordeal, so it’s honestly even a little worse for me.
In order to reclaim power over my experience and help others like me, I’ve started referring to my experience as “Baby Back Blues.” You know, like the ribs they have at Applebee’s? What? Why is that insensitive?
I’m not trying to turn focus away from mothers who have experienced this phenomenon – I’m just trying to say that our experiences are almost the exact same!
If I’m being honest, postpartum depression was one of the many reasons I wasn’t interested in giving birth. Little did I know, just one Applebee’s quesadilla burger would doom me to precisely the same fate. And for those of you who are thinking “that’s not postpartum depression” – maybe wait until you’ve experienced it yourself to pass judgment. I think I can speak for myself and all mothers everywhere when I say: we don’t need your unsolicited input.
Right, moms?
Postpartum depression can impact everyone in different ways. For some moms, it makes it difficult for them to bond with their baby and causes them to withdraw from family and friends. For me, it makes me afraid to ever enjoy a fast-casual meal again.
See? The same.
However, even though living with postpartum depression has been tough, especially since everyone keeps telling me it’s not postpartum depression and that I’m being incredibly insensitive, I won’t let it stop me from living my life to the fullest and going to Applebee’s three times a week!
