The algorithm can often be a harsh mirror to one’s soul, but I have relied on it to tell me certain truths about myself now and again. The Bad Bunny fancams and videos of children falling down that litter my Explore page may not always be the coolest, but at least they make me feel seen, represented, and understood by our pale overlord Mark Zuckerberg, or whoever controls such things.
That’s why I couldn’t have been more blindsided when a Harry Styles reel popped up on my timeline, simply because I watched over 50 Harry Styles reels in a rapid succession last week.
Literally, what the fuck?
Like any person in our troubled society, I started watching Harry Styles reels because of Don’t Worry Darling drama. Then I watched about a dozen reels about his Red Carpet fashion, not because I like it, but because they were kind of there and people are always talking about his little pants. Then I watched 20 interview cuts, but only because I wanted to know what his voice sounded like, and also I was greened out and watching TV at the same time. Then I watched a series of reels about the interior design of his London apartment, then some relationship timelines going back to 2011 or so.
Now all of a sudden Meta thinks I’m some Harry Styles superfan? Grow up; I barely even know who he is.
It is true that I’m currently more in the know about Harry’s work life, real estate, and emotional wellbeing than I am about any of my close friends or family, but Instagram needs to understand that that doesn’t make me a Styles Stan; it makes me a person with no impulse control or values. If the algorithm suddenly started showing me reels that let me know what was up with my niece, well, I probably wouldn’t watch those because my niece isn’t a celebrity, but you get the point.
At this time, I’m thinking of quitting Instagram altogether. It only wants to show me Harry Styles content, and I’ve simply never cared about the guy. But instead of doing that, I guess I’ll just keep going on it for five hours a day, and passively consuming so much Harry Styles content that I imperceptibly reach a point where I’d have to take a few days off work if he died.
Thanks a lot, technology!
