Life is full of ebbs and flows, and not all relationships are meant to last forever. Breakups are a natural end to many relationships, and if you really care about someone then you’ll want to do it in the least heartbreaking way. That’s why I was so surprised and distraught that my ex used a QR code to dump me this weekend.
My gut feeling told me that my partner was a bit finicky; breaking up over QR code is such a cowardly way to not be “the bad guy”. It’s a touch-free way to say, “Scan here to find out if you’re single again.” Sure, it’s working great for restaurant menus, but to end a six-month relationship in the same way I’d order a mojito? This is not the hot girl summer I imagined at all.
And it’s not like this is my first time getting dumped, either. Over time I’ve learned to take breakups with grace and accept that people’s feelings are dynamic and can change over time. However, what the fuck is this? Fuck being safe in a pandemic. Break up with me and watch me ugly cry like a real person! Or at least send me a message that doesn’t require the Camera app.
I thought QR codes were a temporary public health measure. I get that now they’re this environmentally friendly alternative that conserves precious resources like paper and energy, but I’d still like to physically hold a letter or screenshot an email that I can send to my friends! At least give me that decency!
Looking at my phone always makes me feel bad already, and now this?
This is just like that Sex and the City episode when Berger broke up with Carrie using a sticky note, except this is worse because I had to take a picture and follow a link to a generic website that dumped me. I should not have to perform labor just to get broken up with. What kind of person wouldn’t just shoot you a text or let you find out they were cheating on you instead of concocting some URL pathway just to avoid communication? I’ll tell you: the worst kind of person.
Now there’s no way for me to reclaim my dignity. I’m going to think about this every time I open a restaurant menu, check out at CVS, or Venmo a stranger. This was not the way to do it, but I guess this is modern dating now in the new normal. Good luck out there! Except for my QR-coding ex.