Human life is fragile. We drive to work, put in our hours, and head home, forgetting that tragedy could strike at any moment, leaving us as helpless as leaves in the wind. I’m still mourning the person I used to be before my life was senselessly shattered. I used to be physically healthy. But now I am a little sick, and I’ll never be the same.
Just two days ago, I woke up with what can only be described as a cold.
Now my illness has changed me. I may look and sound normal, but I’m a completely different person: sometimes I sneeze. All I can do in my weakened state is lie in bed watching Mindhunter, whereas when I was healthy I would lie in bed watching Mindhunter and scrolling through Instagram. I’m a martyr like the Virgin Mary, except instead of carrying the child of God inside me I’m carrying a little packet of tissues around literally every second.
And even though I could just have a common cold, it could be developing into something more dangerous. I could have the flu or pneumonia or strep or syphilis – and there’s literally no way to know, because I haven’t gone to urgent care yet, because it’s annoying and I’m sick.
I still have a few cherished memories from when I wasn’t sick. Binge drinking four days a week, indiscriminately touching all the animals at the petting zoo, attending Jessica’s “Drink Out Of Your Friends’ Water Bottles” themed birthday party. I was so healthy doing normal healthy people stuff, but then God chose to senselessly strike me down in my prime. I wish I knew why I had gotten sick. But most of all, I wish I had been grateful for what I had, because now I might never not be sick again.
I understand my illness might be a deal-breaker for some people. And that’s okay. It’s important to cut ties with toxic people, especially literally toxic ones. Unfriend me, block me, quarantine me – I wouldn’t wish this mild throat tickle on my worst enemy. And if you need to burn my body to save yourselves from my illness, I totally get it. I’m worthless now.
Also please pick up some Advil Cold & Sinus for me so we can go out tonight!