It started like any other Saturday: I was making a quick omelet, had some shredded cheese left over, and took a quick video of me feeding it to my sweet bulldog. I posted the video to Twitter, where I am only followed by my closest friends, and left to run some errands. By the time I checked my phone again, the video had gone viral, and things had taken a turn for the worse. Simply put, everyone in the comments wants me dead.
Is that really necessary?
The first target of their ire was the cheese. One commenter – RizAm3dSitOnMyFace3 – said, “Is that provolone?? Provolone can KILL dogs, you sicko!!” This is blatantly untrue, but before I could respond, the comment had received 1300 likes and another user had tweeted out my IP address as a warning to “never do this shit again.”
Luckily, a few people noticed the information was false and decided to correct it. PuppyLuvr423 replied, “Provolone doesn’t kill dogs, idiot. Cheese, on the whole, is fine in small quantities.” This was a great start, but the rest of the comment read, “HOWEVER, this is a bulldog and they SHOULD NOT EXIST and the owner should be SHOT for bringing it into the world!!!”
I’m sorry! He’s a rescue! Should I kill my dog?
I tried to cull the heat by explaining all of this in the comments myself, but my own replies were quickly buried by a series of bots doxxing my minute-by-minute location. I turned replies off because it was simply too much, but people started flooding my DMs instead. I received an email from my boss that she was ignoring the hate mail my company – which delivers meals to disadvantaged children – was getting on my behalf.
Does this happen to Charli XCX? Is this what fame demands of mortals?
Admittedly, the death threats I received were creative. One woman promised to “drown me in shredded cheese like I was doing to my poor fur baby,” and another said he’d “smash my face in with a spatula if I ever let my dog that close to the stove again.”
I have since decided that the internet is not a place that I want to be. I locked my account, deleted my profile picture, changed my name, and vowed never to share myself with the world again. Sadly, it was too late. The tweet had gone viral on another platform, one that was far beyond my understanding and sent a shiver down my spine: Reddit.
I’ve enjoyed my life and understand that it’s come to an end! See you all in the next!
